I want to tell you about the greatest, most beautiful, life changing experiment that I am giving a go.
It is called The Great Experiment. And it is truly GREAT!!! This experiment will rock your world if you engage it with sincerity.
I first heard about this experiment from Jesus. You can try all by yourself where ever you are in the entire world or spirit world!
This is what you do:
You ask God for some love - as a feeling, with your soul or what you might call a 'heart felt desire' or a longing/prayer, like when you really, really want something and you feel it.
Even if you don't believe in God you can still try the experiment.
The experiment requires you to be truthful with yourself and with God.
So you might not believe in God, or you might think or believe all manner of things about God, this is okay you can still ask God for love and this process will work through the issues that we have with God. Now when you ask you need to be sincere and it needs to be a feeling, so asking from your soul or your heart if you like. Mere intellectual thought and head asking is not going to work very well. But you can try this too to find out for yourself.
Over the last few months I have begun to actually ask God for love (over and over again**), it began as recorded below:
'Hi God, okay so I don't think I am that lovable and I don't know if I actually believe you are going to give me any love but if you do have Love to give me, like I have heard you have, could I have some? Please? (I thought being polite would help, smile, it also highlighted some injuries & fears I have)
I said it again.
I got up huffily and went and got busy for a while and then it dawned on me, 'Ahhh I don’t receive love very well from most people or I am pretty demanding and expectant about it, I have issues with love so I probably need to take a look at my beliefs and feelings about love if I am going to actually be able to receive Love from God'.
After discovering I have issues & blocks to Love I discovered*** that I also have issues with God and so I needed to firstly find out what I really believed and felt about God. As I am longing for God’s Love, both God and Love are worth investigating about how I feel about them so I asked myself some questions.
Self Reflection Questions I wrote down:
- What are my beliefs about love?
- Do I want to love?
- Do I want to be loved?
- How does God love?
- What is love?
- What is God's love like? (obviously I don't know personally, so what have I heard about it so far from reliable sources - like Jesus, Mary, friends I know who have experienced God’s Love and people in General who seem to have a love for God and who feel God is loving - I used these as a starting point, I am going to need to feel this out for myself but I needed some positive things to begin with)
- What do I see as Love and is it really love?
- What do my parents see as love?
- What do my friends -past & present - see as love?
- What does society and the world at large in general feel about love?
- What are my beliefs about God?
- What do I really feel God is like?
- What have I been told God is like from parents, friends, school, religion, society in general and the world at large?
- What is my actual real view of God as I am now, not things I have heard but what do I really feel about God and Love right at this time?
- There are heaps more questions that have come up and some I have investigated and some I still need to feel about. Often I revisit the questions as often when I intellectually answer them they are quite different to when I emotionally answer them.
I Borrowed Questions (Mary's reflection Questions):
- “What beliefs do I have about God that stop me asking for the Love?”
- “What beliefs do I have about myself that stop me asking for the Love?”
- “What stops me longing for the Love all the time?”
This began as an intellectual exercise. It is growing into a feeling exercise. A first hand experience of my own, and I reckon that is what it is about, experiencing it for yourself. Not taking anyones word for it but giving it a go for yourself because you want to.
I hit points where I get frustrated as I am not getting any Love - due to blocking it out, and I feel like I am useless and wasting my time and that maybe it is all a charade. I have had self pitying tantrum cries about that and reflected back and this is what I noticed:
- Since longing for God’s Love I have noticed more things about myself in the shortest amount of time in comparison to the rest of my life and have also begun getting memories, first intellectually and then with feelings and emotions attached to them a few days after the initial remembering.
- Since longing for God's Love I am seeing that a lot of the issues I thought were God's problems or others problems are actually about myself and feelings within myself creating them.
Reflecting on this I began to feel excited because longing for God's Love is exposing all the things that are standing in the way of me being close to God (& ironically to others also). I feel like I have a whole heap of blocks to God and each time I ask for God's Love I find out something more about myself and the blocks/false beliefs/fears/addictions etc I am holding onto and valuing more than an open heart ready to receive Love.
So I am figuring that longing for God's love is the fast track and I don't have to try, it has relieved some of the pressure I place on myself. something comes up every time I sincerely long for the Love and it feels like no effort on my part to find it out or know it, it is just immediately there, instantly. If it doesn't happen that way now I ask myself if I was actually wanting to know or just intellectually thinking I did.
I am finding now that often I will ask for God's love and a memory will come and I will have tears, this is also exciting for me as I am re-learning how to feel and re connect to myself having been disassociated for such a long period of time and having been terrified to feel any of my own emotions. I still am afraid of my emotions but I am beginning to check these fears out as well and get specific with my fears rather than just have a general fear cloud that I keep my head stuck in.
I am arrogant and resistant to God and God's process. I want, and weirdly believe, that I am some how safer and able to protect myself. I realise, intellectually, this is not true and is proved not true so many times each day to me. I have been opening up to more feelings of being sexually abused and I have realised that I am not going to be able to work through those feelings fully without God and His Love, I need God and I find that scary as I don’t want to need anyone. I also have been really demanding of God's Love and had to realise this about myself as well as wanting God to do the process for me instead of me taking responsibility and wanting to feel through the issues inside of myself with God just along side of me.
Longing for God's love is one seriously cool adventure and though I can't say I am always enthusiastic about seeing my true self because I still judge her, I am excited in reflecting back at how EVERY time I have longed for God's love I have learnt something new, realised something, or opened up to something either immediately or very shortly afterwards (the next day or so). The changes so far in my experiment seem small but they are real, they are mine, and I have even caught myself getting excited about God and wanting to tell people about the Great Experiment, smile.
I haven't been overwhelmed by God's Love - yet, but I don't feel this is because God isn't wanting to Love me now, I feel this is due to my will and that is keeping God's Love from me.
I wrote this to encourage you to give this experiment a go. To dive in and try the experiment and keep trying it, self reflecting as you go.
The whole point of the 'Divine Love Path' or 'The Way' is our relationship with God & opening our soul to receive God’s Love. I feel that I have missed that point and wanted it to be about all sorts of other things. But God & God’s Love is key in this process and experimenting with longing for God’s Love is spectacular. It is exposing, it is immediate - when I want it, and it is real. It is taking an action and growing my desire and will.
It is the only thing that has actually worked and the experiment is so simple and so easy. I have some fears and terrors that I perceive as large and I am realising that if I don’t have a relationship with God I am unlikely to actually feel through those terrors, in fact I know I wont as I haven’t done so yet. So I am experimenting with growing my relationship with God and I will see if that makes a difference with my desire to actually go through the emotions I feel most afraid to feel.
Have fun and enjoy the beautiful process God created for us to become at one with Him!
More interesting Information on the Great Experiment:
* We were speaking with a group of kids in the spirit world and they called it the 'God Game' after they had tried it and they wanted to know why everyone didn't know about this and why everyone wasn't playing the 'God Game'
** I didn't actually try it for ages because I didn't think I was good enough or loving enough. I thought if I wasn't perfect and really great then how could I possibly be given any love, I don't feel loved by my parents so how could God love me if they don't? I believed that out of all God's children I am the one unlovable one, so I just didn't ask for love instead I tried really hard to be better and more loving. It hasn't worked which indicates to me I must have something off inside of me, and so I need to investigate that.
*** I had been told this previous but what I found is that when I actually took the time myself and sat down and longed for the Love it was through my own first hand experience that I knew I had blocks to God and Love and I couldn't pass them off as easily as some moments before.
Interestingly enough I came across a really great transcript and talk Jesus and Mary gave in 2011 while writing this post called:
20110507 Relationship with God: Getting to Know God (given in Melbourne, Australia)
I cannot recommend it enough!! If link doesn't work it can be found on the Divine Truth Website: www.divinetruth.com> downloads>ebooks>Relationship with God: Getting to Know God>PDF>
Also another called: Why we Resist God and there are a whole heap more I am now reading through.
In the Padgett messages we hear from spirits who show perseverance in their prayer life.
For example, Riddle shares:
And, when I learned that prayer was the only way to this Love, and saw you praying for me with all your heart and in great earnestness, I commenced to pray also; but I must confess that my prayers were not accompanied with much faith. But I continued to pray, and every night when you prayed for me and for the many others who were with you praying, I tried to exercise all the faith possible and prayed for more faith.
This continued for some time, and one day your grandmother……. She assured me that if I would only try to believe, and pray to God to help me believe, He would answer my prayers; and I would soon find that with my earnest efforts, faith would come to me, and with faith would come this Love into my heart, and with this Love would come happiness and joy.
So I listened to her, and tried to believe that what she told me must be true, and that she was interested in me and desired only my happiness. I continued to pray, …..
At last, light came to me, and with it, such an inflowing of Love as I never dreamed could exist, either in the earth or in the spirit world. But it came to me and I felt as if I were a new spirit, and such happiness came as I never experienced before.
The Great Experiment clearly requires patience and perseverance as we develop real faith.